by John Khuc
In the first year and second year of my university life, I spend them, quite unproductively, with my Vietnamese fellow people, at the Hanoi campus facility.
Although it would be not true to say those two year were not enjoyable, it was not extraordinary either. Why is that so? I do acknowledge that my mind could not get the exciting bit out of every experience I have had, not because of depression, hell no, I still have more life than an ant, I’m sure of that. However, there is nothing I find could make me as excited, or should I say, now that I realized it when thinking back, that I did not have the ability to do so.
However, life happen, as I make a little bit of success of having someone that, I believe, strongly attracted to me, at least physically, since psychological maturity is something I have a grasp at but not yet to master.
Maybe I did hurt her (someone I care about) a few times, not being the kind of man she expect, but I have no regrets, the feeling of making meaningful, rational, sad, happy, logical thoughts make me become flexible with my emotions. Thus, I can learn to use them interpret my being.
Well, this is now my last year of the programs, it has not been impressive as I expected. But I need to concentrate on studying anyway, at least I must have something on me to live on with my boring career. And hopefully, I could be, or could do what I really wanted to do, which is pretty much very spontaneously, however it would be at least something greater than me that I love to work/play with. And that’s not a problem of commitment, at all.
Let’s get through the year with a good degree on my hand. Wasted time or not, it’s necessary.
The future will be thought of in a near future.